A Prayer for Insomnia

Lord, it is the third night in a row. I have tried the warm milk, the counting, the putting down of the phone, and still my eyes snap open in the dark while the clock keeps moving without me.

I am beginning to dread the bed itself, the place that should be rest has become a place of fighting. I confess I am angry, at my own body, at the silence, sometimes at You for the morning I know is coming whether I have slept or not.

But I am too tired to pretend anymore, so I bring this raw exhaustion straight to You. You do not require me to arrive composed.

I ask not only for sleep but for the peace underneath sleep, the kind that holds even on the nights it does not come. Quiet the part of me that performs being calm and let me actually be calm.

You said You would keep me in perfect peace when my mind stays on You instead of on the hours I am losing. So I fix my thoughts on Your faithfulness rather than on the clock.

If sleep comes tonight, I will thank You. If it does not, carry me through the day with a strength I did not manufacture. Either way I am held. Amen.